The Ponder Effect | What are you waiting for?
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What are you waiting for?

I mean it: what are you waiting for? We are so good at excuses, aren’t we? Even when we know that this is it: this is our chance, this is our life, today, now, only. And yet, we throw a bunch of “whens” at our dreams and ambitions. When I have the time…When I have the money…When we are more settled…When this gets finished…“When” is code for either I’m afraid or I’m a perfectionist. (Being honest with myself, I recognize that these two things often overlap.)

So, what is it that you feel in your bones you want to try and do…or no longer do? Does it relate to a job, a relationship, a habit, a behavior, your home, your parenting, your health, your attitude, your gratitude? What excuses are you making for yourself in waiting, and are they viable?

I am not suggesting we be reckless or careless. I am not suggesting we throw anything away on a whim. What I am suggesting is that we should reflect intensively on what we truly want from life and on what is preventing us from living that out. And, that we be mindful that tomorrow is not a given. My hope is that having the space to air these ponderings anonymously—what we want and/or what’s holding us back—might free us.

Could this be the beginning of no longer waiting? What is it you are waiting for anyway?

 

Share your thoughts [All posts are 100% anonymous]

6 Ponderings
  • Anonymous

    March 5, 2018 at 1:23 am

    i’m waiting for a flight that has been delayed for over an hour. It feels ironic that I currently have such a tangible example of waiting, when my life feels like I’m doing the opposite of waiting. It’s so full of yeses, commitments, and opportunities that everyone else is usually waiting on me. Maybe that means that I’m waiting to say no.

  • Anonymous

    March 5, 2018 at 2:58 am

    I feel like I’ve spent half my adult life waiting – waiting to be out of graduate school, waiting for my kids to be out of diapers, waiting for my youngest to be in kindergarten … and now that I’m finally THERE, I feel slightly disoriented. Nothing else seems to be holding me back, unless you count fear and perfectionism, which are annoying, but very real road blocks.

    I have a friend in my writing group who has three kids, too. She planned to write something insane, like, 100 pages a week, in the month of November. I said, “How in the world are you going to do THAT?!” For me, November is merely the gateway to December – the holiday season, a season of obligation – and she looked at me sternly and almost yelled, “I’m just F-ING doing it!” It was such a lesson for me. I spend so much time thinking about how to order my days, when I’d probably get closer to my goals with a bigger measure of defiance and by answering my own “how’s” by saying, “I’m just F-ING doing it, that’s how!”

    But then again, for people who have been at home with their kids for a long time, or In some other similar holding pattern, we feel we’ve been waiting around for so long that we don’t even know what we want anymore, or where the joy or pursuit of our own thing should come from. Not knowing what we’re waiting for is hard, too.

    I actually read this question two ways: one in the negative, the other in the positive, the positive being, what are we waiting for with anticipation? Sometimes I feel like I wait for every next day with anticipation – what will my children do that will delight, puzzle or challenge me? How can I care for someone? Will I take the next step up the mountain I’ve decided to climb? Where will it lead?

    At my best, I wait with anticipation. I wait with open hands.

  • Anonymous

    March 5, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    I’m all over this one. I believe the answers and the confidence come in a blazing light if and when we are ready to listen. A big, scary birthday, the death of a close friend, divorce. Ok world, I’m listening, and wow are the answers coming. And the beautiful thing is that deep down I already knew. I knew what was right, I knew what I wanted, I knew what to do. I just needed to be knocked off kilter to move me to DO. You’re absolutely right that perfectionism is a block, as is the concern of how others will perceive us. Shed those things and the freedom and power to act are palpable.

  • Anonymous

    March 7, 2018 at 1:58 am

    I completely relate to the post about waiting for kids to be in kindergarten. I am guilty of waiting for that elusive point in the future when I have more time. I’m also guilty of waiting for that elusive point in the future when we have more money. But I know that there’s never enough time and there’s never enough money. I need to live out my soul now.

  • Anonymous

    March 7, 2018 at 11:20 pm

    I am waiting to put in the time, read and study, meditate, work hard or whatever it is that you have to do to be a full on, faith filled “Christian.” I think, no I know, I spend more time on my physical body than I do on my spiritual body. That is horrible to admit.
    I try to be a good person and I do say prayers (usually of petition) and read the Bible but that’s not it. I am talking about complete, sure faith and a personal relationship with Jesus. I know/think that it will take commitment, meditation, study, quiet, sacrifice. Sacrifice. That may be where I get scared and back away. So I guess I am waiting for courage.

  • Anonymous

    March 10, 2018 at 1:10 pm

    That comment on tending more to the “physical body” than the “spiritual body” hit me like a ton of bricks—I certainly understand the feeling (and the ongoing guilt that comes with recognizing it). In a world that offers immediate gratification in response to the things I can manipulate, it is much more difficult to willingly exchange the control I (seemingly) have over my external self for the growth of my internal one. Both are connected, but I often feel that my soul, my heart takes a back seat as tightly grip the parts of myself I can measure. Waiting, for me, is tied to the ongoing hope that I’m being made ready—ready for a surrender moment that seems too big to tackle most days. But, in the spirit of pondering, what if I am waiting for a readiness that is never going to come? What if action in spite of feeling convinced or capable is the point? I suppose this is the crux of faith itself.