The Ponder Effect | What is the story I am telling in my head?
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What is the story
I am telling in my head?

Oh, the power of the inner monologue. The narratives we spin in our heads directly inform the nature of the life we experience. These narratives can strengthen relationships or destroy them. They can motivate us or paralyze us. If we can become students of our own personal stories, then we can begin to rewrite the false ones and bravely pursue the true ones. At any given moment we can ask ourselves:

Am I the hero of my story or the victim? Is it a tale of self-pity or perseverance? Of victimization or accountability? Of “no fair” or “no longer”?

We are reminded of something someone posted on our last PONDER BOARD of last year: 2018 taught me 99.9% of the time the story my anxiety and panic tells me IS WRONG. There is such wisdom in this statement. Is your anxiety trying to author a false narrative in your life right now? What is that narrative? And how can you begin to re-write it?

Share your thoughts [All posts are 100% anonymous]

7 Ponderings
  • Anonymous

    February 10, 2019 at 10:41 pm

    Last week at a Bible study, one of the participants said that, in divinity school, she had heard sin defined as “holding a grudge.” Your question about the power of the inner dialogue reminded of that. When I hold a grudge, I put energy into maintaining my inner dialogue so that it supports my being wronged. There is no room for another interpretation, forgiveness or grace.

  • Anonymous

    February 11, 2019 at 12:06 pm

    Sometimes I feel like my inner dialogue is like one of those “choose-your-own-adventure” books. Every day, it’s different. Some days I choose to be kind to myself, have faith in the choices I’ve made, applaud the small victories and embrace this life I have chosen for myself. But other days I choose self doubt and insecurity, questioning if I am as worthy as the other mom next to me who appears to balance her career, her kids, her story with ease. I question my choices and what I’m about. This narrative defines how I feel on a certain day. I want to focus on the adventure I have chosen and own my decisions. I want to embrace this chapter and stop being sidetracked by other people’s stories. We each have a unique story and I know I need to write my own.

  • Anonymous

    February 11, 2019 at 11:26 pm

    One voice in my head is asking if I am being judgmental when I think about the fact that I don’t enjoy a friend as much as I used to. Maybe. But maybe I am changing directions.

    Another voice wonders why I haven’t sent the card, written the note, taken the dinner. It asks if I have been selfish with my time. A good question. But I won’t waste time worrying about it, as it is an old story.

  • Anonymous

    February 13, 2019 at 9:26 pm

    Sometimes the story I am telling in my head is that I am not living the life I want to live. That’s a toxic narrative. When I step away from that story and take an honest look at my life, it is exactly the life I want to live. It has family and health and work, safety and support, love and joy. There are things I wish for, sure, but that is hardly the whole story.

  • Anonymous

    February 13, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    As much as the stories I tell in my own head, I have started to tune into the stories we have fallen into the habit of telling as a family. Not the good funny stories but the perpetuated myths that hold us back. Kids latch onto these narratives–so and so is mean, our house is this way or that–which hijack the truth in dangerous ways. This year, we are working hard to help our family rewrite these stories.

  • Anonymous

    February 14, 2019 at 7:49 am

    The story in my head (when I am not diligent) is that I am not enough. The story in my spirit though, is that I can’t ever be any more than I am now and that is plenty.

  • Anonymous

    February 15, 2019 at 10:29 am

    I agree with you… all of the things you discussed are negative thoughts and impact us in a variety of ways. The most dangerous is to keep thinking about the what if’s instead of the what is and what can be.