The Ponder Effect | What’s one thing you can purge from your life?
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What’s one thing you can purge from your life?

POST BY GUEST THINKER:  MOLLY GRANTHAM ::

The Groundhog didn’t lie: it has been a long winter. We are finally starting to see light, and with breeze and sunshine comes a good Spring Cleaning. In my house, that starts with closets.

This year, as I sat surrounded by winter clothes that needed to be moved out and last year’s summer dresses which now seemed to hug just a smidge too tight (turning 40 really did add five pounds), I was struck with how much STUFF was around me. Material things. Clothes. Hangers. Jewelry. Scarves. Shoes, shoes, shoes. Outfits I love, outfits I hate, outfits that hold special memories, outfits I wish I could wear again. At some point all the special blended with the despised and, for the most part, it became the same. Junk. Piles of things. It forced me to put back only what was really needed, on what was suddenly beautifully sparse shelves.

What a joy. Now I only have what I want in front of me, can access everything easily and have room for whatever new might come my way.

Got me thinking.

What if I did the same thing to my mind and soul?

It’s easy to hold on to certain things inside ourselves. A former relationship. An argument with a family member that has extended way too long. A current, needy friend who sucks up too much space. What if we took stock of the things REALLY taking up emotional real estate, and decluttered? Let go of whatever takes up useless space. No doubt we all lug around a few pieces of unnecessary (heavy?) baggage… if you wanted to purge something inside yourself to make things more simple, what’s something you’d drop off for good?

 


About our guest: Molly Grantham is a two-time Emmy award winning journalist based in Charlotte, who was named TV News Reporter of the Year for both Carolinas. She recently published her first book, Small Victories: The Off-Camera Life of an On-Camera Mom, a memoir The Huffington Post described as “…honesty twisted with humor. You’ll laugh, cry, then want to tell your friends.”

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77 Ponderings
  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 6:50 pm

    I’d declutter the “I shoulds,” and the “wish I hads,” and the anxious “what if’s,” and hope that the fresh space would hold potential for a life more presently, joyfully lived.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:02 pm

    The negativity of those who surround me. There is no place in my life for their negativity.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:04 pm

    Negativity! And those folks who spread it.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:05 pm

    The need to please everyone else before making myself happy

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:06 pm

    I need to de clutter my mind— purge all the negative, embrace the positive and go for it! (And all the excess toys and clothes in my house!)

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    I would love to get rid of the constant feeling that I need to lose weight, the feeling that if I’d lose a few pounds I would be happy with the way I look.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    Allowing my head to still think about an old friend who did me terribly wrong. I wish those thoughts would leave and stop affecting my life.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:15 pm

    Get rid of the unhealthy relationships with family and friends. Look for new relationships.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:15 pm

    I would purge wasting time because life is but a vapor. And I think we should get every puff out of our vapor!

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:17 pm

    At age 71, not much at this point – already gone. But have tried for the past several years to purge toxic/negative people?? Should have started much earlier to realize I could and should do this. It is a really good thing.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:20 pm

    Definitely the OCD! It’s gotten worse with age and I get on my own nerves at times!

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    I would purge all my what if’s, life is what it is and I can’t change it now

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:23 pm

    Thank you Molly! Life may be short or it may be long. We do not know. Hanging on to physical or mental stuff can hold us down? Back? To everyone it is a different answer. I do know from having a daughter born with a CHD 18 years ago and almost losing my husband of 27 years to a virus this winter that life is what we make of it. Enjoy the moment because we are not promised any other. Give back for the joy of giving.
    Purge what needs to be and don’t look back. I have a neighbor and her motto is, “Love, Love, Love” and really is “All We Need”.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:24 pm

    I would purge the continued need to do everything just right along with the worry of what people really think of me. Why am I not good enough as I am at the age of 66?

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:24 pm

    Hatred and negativity………I am at the age that I will not be consumed by what weighs me down. Life is WAY to short 🙂

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:28 pm

    I would like to drop the need to care what others think of me. I am enough!

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:29 pm

    Worry. I waste too much of my life worrying about anything and everything.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:30 pm

    I took a step back from a friend because I felt bad about myself when around him. The negative energy was draining me. Now I feel stronger and recognize when it’s time to shut it down and have more positive moments than negative.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:34 pm

    Purge the need for things to be perfect. Knowing full well it’s impossible , but I keep thinking I can make it happen. Really quite foolish of me and oh so nerve wrecking. Just give it up , girl and just be ? with life.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    Insecurity that I’m never enough, do enough, smart enough, work enough, provide enough

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:37 pm

    I’d purge the negative relationships I have in my life. Causing me to have a negative view of myself.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:37 pm

    I have really been thinking about removing material things from my life. I treasure family momentos but feel I need to relieve my life of stuff. I purged clothes last weekend and it felt amazing. I am striving to continue the purge.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:38 pm

    I’m purging the people who continually drain me of joy. I’ve fought the valiant battle to keep some of them in my life, but as I’ve gotten older, prefer to cultivate and nurture the folks who either have need of some part of me I can give them, or who give me joy and even small meaningful moments.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:44 pm

    Clutter. This I am slowly working on.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    I would purge the feeling of needing to stay in a marriage that I desperately want/need out of but am afraid at the affects it will have on our 9 year old. There is no abuse or arguing but other issues that have affected me deeply.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    Decluttering the simple fear of never finding my joy again.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:57 pm

    Negativity! I try hard to let it go, but I’m not always successful.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 7:59 pm

    I would get rid of Worry…worring about things that no amount of worring will ever change. Worring if I’m making the right decisions. Life is short and it is a Gift!

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:00 pm

    I find that as each day that passes and ruminate about how time has flown by so fast. Thus, finding myself at the age of 60, purging has been a daily occurrence. I wake up each day with an empty mind not letting any negativity in thus beings the first purge of the day. As the day progresses I find that I do not have to purge because, I began the day with one thought entering my mind to make the most of the day.
    How did I come to this point in my life? My older sister really put things in perspective. I was visiting her and was upset and dwelling on how I broke the second hand on an expensive clock. In her calm soothing voice, she responded no use dwelling there is nothing you can change. I had an epiphany at that moment and realized she was right. Reflecting back, at that moment I decided I needed to purge and the first purge began with dwelling. Added to this I began my quest to remove all negativity from my life. Once it was removed my state of mind flipped and I am always in a positive state. When I encounter people that want to pull you into their negative world I remove myself or I attempt to turn that negativity into positivity.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    The grudges. Amazing how much more peaceful life is
    when you let them go.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:06 pm

    Miss Molly, I have watched you grow to the person you are. Via television, then the Facebook, and then the book.(Which I loved). I was trilled to meet you for a short moment in my life. You’ve made me laugh, cry, and almost every emotion possible. Except hate. 5 years ago, Wbtv reported a story about one beautiful short person in my life. To begin with, I was in shock, physical pain (from our loss). I was mad, stressed, hurt, full of anxiety, depressed, scared, etc.. Losing a grandchild is really really tough, and that’s putting it mildly. I sat down and talked to God lots in the coming months after. I told him how unhappy I was. And that although we are supposed to forgive, I could not. I still don’t. Those ladies made their choices, to lay Logan on his belly, to not check on him for over 45 minutes. Even if they had, the outcome might have been the same. We shall never know. But, I came to the realization that although there is no forgiveness. There is no hate. Life is too short to have negative feelings. All days I am good. Even on the worst of days. And even if I don’t wake up, I AM GOOD. Because I know where I’m going. Yes, I want more time here. But, to be able to sit on God’s front porch, with Logan, AWESOMENESS. I apologize for the length of this. But not for my words. So to answer your question, I happily keep trying to PURGE all negativity from my life.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:10 pm

    I would purge the need to compare myself to others. As long as I am being my best me, that should be enough.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:12 pm

    Self doubt, and self guilt.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:17 pm

    Memories that do me no good to remember.

    Literally, a China closet of collectibles that won’t fit into my life anymore.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:19 pm

    A China closet of collectibles that won’t fit into my new life. Unfortunately these things are only important to me –

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:21 pm

    I continue to strive to purge the hurt caused by some people I trusted. I am learning to trust again. Thanks Molly for making me think about what I NEED to purge from my thoughts and my heart. Life is good and I need to embrace that…

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:23 pm

    To stop caring about the things I don’t even care about.
    Start asking: Do I really value this enough to exhaust myself emotionally over it?

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:30 pm

    My disappointment in my self for squandered opportunities when I was younger.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:32 pm

    Fear
    Of the worst thing that could happen

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:42 pm

    My wife passed away in July 2016, leaving me with 21 month old twins….. I’ll let that sink in, I had tons of support at the time, but as my therapist prepared me for, much of that fell by the wayside, my work was great and understood. Almost two years out, I know who is “with” me, my work has determined they have all they can and are maneuvering me through the “system”. Look up PTSD and Widow fog. I am a single father raising 3 1/2 year old twins with one is special ed.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:43 pm

    Self doubt! And all those who make me feel inadequate.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    Guilt! I lost my best friend 3 years to suicide. She suffered from depression for most of her life. I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I could have done more for her.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:45 pm

    Most definitely I would purge worrying over things I can’t control.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:54 pm

    I’d purge the constant loss I feel after my mom passing away.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    I would purge stress…or maybe it’s control I would purge. The urge to control everything in my life, when realizing there are so many things I can’t control. Like losing my dad, or wondering if I’ll get enough financial aid to go back to school. I would purge all of this stress and anxiety and make room for the good things…like making new memories and living more in the moment.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:56 pm

    I would like to be able to rid myself of wanting to have a relationship with my father, of feeling like I will somehow “not get” something from him. The truth is, he is the one that thinks I am not good enough. I am the product of a “mistake he made” (actual things he told me). And while it has been very motivational – I get angry and get things done that I imagine he will say I cannot do – I need to get over the anger. Some people do not have the capacity to love you the way you think they should, he is one of those people and I have to forgive him for that and let him go.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:57 pm

    I want to want what I need and I want to learn to love myself.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 8:58 pm

    The anxiety – so overwhelming at times and even though I realize it’s stopping me from enjoying my life to the fullest I hang on to it. Wish I could toss it out like the jeans from my twenties that I’ll never fit my leg in to again.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 9:00 pm

    Putting things off. We always think, one day I will . Often times one day never comes and we live with the regret of not having done that thing we wanted to do, but time, money, effort, or whatever else excuse we gave ourselves for the time not being right prevents us from doing it. I want to do the things I want to do in the season of life that I am in when I decide to do them. And stop living with excuses.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 9:10 pm

    The “someday”s or the “maybe later”s There is no time like the present and we aren’t guaranteed the chance later.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 9:11 pm

    Also my OCD and clutter! Working on both. Have discarded 2 Hugh bags of clutter this week so feel a little lighter!

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 9:22 pm

    Politics…I should stop following politics. Makes me feel unsafe. And maybe the news?

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 9:27 pm

    I am on the path to purging clutter out of the house. I realized it was just all stuff and now am taking to minimalist approach. I’m hoping that doing this will give me more time. More time to mom, church, friend, or quiet time. Now if I could figure out how to get it all done in one weekend!

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 9:46 pm

    anxiety.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 9:57 pm

    Worry, it takes way too much time in my life. I just need to retrain my brain.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 10:13 pm

    I have already purged the toxic people out of my life a long time ago If I cannot control it or I can’t change it I just let God take it and my worries have disappeared. Truly a weight was lifted and my life so so so much better. I try to teach this to people I know can use it. If only I would have been on that band wagon when I was younger!

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 10:20 pm

    Certain negative people who I shouldn’t listen to or let their passive aggressive remarks bother me but they do. It’s harder sometimes when its family giving you guilt. You try but in the end you have to decide what gives you more peace.

  • Anonymous

    April 29, 2018 at 10:21 pm

    I’m trying very hard to rid myself of the bitterness I have in my heart for all of the people that are too busy to make time for me in their lives… People that I love.
    I’m not jealous, or insecure, but I’m more sensitive now that I’m getting older. I refuse to join someone’s clique in order to spend a little time with them. Life is much too short.
    No time for foolishness… No time for drama…
    No time for bitterness. It’s got to go.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 1:32 am

    Procrastination. It is so easy to put something off for another time and harder to fix when it becomes too late.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 5:10 am

    The negativity towards the way I look. I put myself down all of the time. In my mind and verbally. I am a grandmother raising my little grandson, and I love taking pictures of him. I take pix almost daily. I want him to have lots of memories of all of the things we do. But I am hardly ever in the pix with him. He will have lots of pix of himself, but very few of us together. I wish I could purge that self negativity!

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 5:24 am

    This is the purge I have been doing since my retirement two years ago-letting go of materialistic things-clothes, housewares, items from way too long ago,. My latest purge is weight. I have lost over 20 pounds in 3 months.-another reason to purge clothing and buy some that really fit. I am now working on purging negative thoughts, bad memories, and people who claim to be so called friends.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 5:48 am

    The constant nagging thought that I could have done it better…whatever it may be at the moment.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 6:48 am

    Negativity and the people that I let pull me down.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 8:39 am

    False expectations. Most of my unhappiness and disappointment is the result of my own expectations not being met. Once I learned to accept people may not live up to my expectations and that it is my work to control those expectations my live became much happier but it is something I continue to have to work on.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 9:37 am

    On the inside I would love to purge myself of being judgmental. Of holding others to my values, my priorities.
    On the outside I would purge myself of negative people, remarks and attitudes.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 10:01 am

    Terrible memories that have plagued my life. How freeing that would be! One day at a time. ?

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 11:03 am

    I would purge the consistant negative thoughts of doing more and being better. I want find my security in Christ alone! My desire, my heart is not in things and I DO NOT want to live like it is!!

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 11:15 am

    I also purged my clothes and shoes, socks, etc. I am still purging as I come across items I haven’t used or even looked at in several years.
    It is very freeing to share what I no longer need with someone who really needs them.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 1:15 pm

    Self-doubt.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 1:28 pm

    Self doubt and comparisons. Constant worry and fear. The relationships that are far to often exhausting as opposed to uplifting.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    To purge any one or any thing out of my life would mean for me to actively remove the someone’s or somethings. It is my belief that there is a reason for every person, good or bad, to be part of your life. To teach, to be taught; to be the very thread of your life for one second, for ever.
    Nature has a way of getting removing those from your life that are no longer needed.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 5:06 pm

    THE negative people in my life.

  • Anonymous

    April 30, 2018 at 9:18 pm

    The crushing feeling of offering forgiveness to a mean spirited parent, having them apologize followed by experiencing their all new low. i forgave now how do I purge the pain

  • Anonymous

    May 1, 2018 at 8:35 pm

    Worry…. worry about what others think of me! Be confident of myself and shine!!

  • Anonymous

    May 2, 2018 at 7:35 pm

    Talking about other people’s flaws.

  • Anonymous

    May 4, 2018 at 8:03 am

    The need to always be the peace-keeper. Feeling like you have to change other’s perspective of the negative things that are not your own.

  • Anonymous

    May 13, 2018 at 6:00 pm

    The energy Iget when I am mad